Sunday, October 17, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Scaring It Forward
In approximately 3 hours and 40 minutes my addition to the new William Castle story Scare It Forward. Whomever it is calling him or herself William Castle is really creating a stir for the old gimmick-meister. His book is being re-published. and he or she is gaining popularity on Facebook. This person told me my addition was "amazing".
Okay that's my brag.
Have I mentioned that I have to wait until November 30 to find out if I'm cured?
Okay that's my brag.
Have I mentioned that I have to wait until November 30 to find out if I'm cured?
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Tales From The Big Casino; Lucky Chapter 13
So the last chemotherapy was today. It went pretty fast I was done well over an hour earlier than normal. That was cool. Watched Gray Lady Down during the chemo time. Great flick, one of my brothers faves. Charlton Heston, Stacy Keach, & David Carridine. One of those rare 70s flicks with intelligible dialogue and an actual ending.
So the next step is, 6 weeks from now I'll get the Amazing Colossal Man treatment, aka PET Scan. then the following week I meet with my Doc to find out the GOOD news, that being the cancer is gone. Then we're all going to the LDR Char Pit to celebrate. The bad news is the sucky ass side effects might hang around for at least a year. Feh. The stats say that chronic fatigue is the one that seems to hang on and not let you go. On the good side, my hair is making a nice comeback. One little tiny nekkid spot on the back right hand corner. I can deal with that. The Dr Evil look is outa here!
http://rocwiki.org/LDR_Char_Pit
So the next step is, 6 weeks from now I'll get the Amazing Colossal Man treatment, aka PET Scan. then the following week I meet with my Doc to find out the GOOD news, that being the cancer is gone. Then we're all going to the LDR Char Pit to celebrate. The bad news is the sucky ass side effects might hang around for at least a year. Feh. The stats say that chronic fatigue is the one that seems to hang on and not let you go. On the good side, my hair is making a nice comeback. One little tiny nekkid spot on the back right hand corner. I can deal with that. The Dr Evil look is outa here!
http://rocwiki.org/LDR_Char_Pit
Monday, October 11, 2010
Tales From The Big Casino; Chapter 12
It's the night before my last scheduled chemo, and I'm a little antsy. Why, I don't know. It's just going to be the standard visit, nothing special. The big thing is going to be going back into the nuclear Star Trek tube and looking to see if all the nasty little lymphocytes are gone Gone GONE! They freaking better be. After all this crap I'm in no mood for any additional anything.
I picked out a couple dvds to watch while I'm hooked up to the dripster. That's my word for it. I know a lot of people claim the overuse of aspartame it a major cause of cancer. But the infusion rooms are always full when I go. And I drank diet coke for 10 years or more. I gave up on all that glop 3 years ago. So it could be a cause. But there's been cancer in my family for a couple generations. All I know for sure is a lot of people have cancer, me included. I got nothing else. Maybe I'll be more talkative tomorrow night. I sure as hell won't be sleeping much.
I picked out a couple dvds to watch while I'm hooked up to the dripster. That's my word for it. I know a lot of people claim the overuse of aspartame it a major cause of cancer. But the infusion rooms are always full when I go. And I drank diet coke for 10 years or more. I gave up on all that glop 3 years ago. So it could be a cause. But there's been cancer in my family for a couple generations. All I know for sure is a lot of people have cancer, me included. I got nothing else. Maybe I'll be more talkative tomorrow night. I sure as hell won't be sleeping much.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Tales From The Big Casino; Chapter 11
9/14/10
One week from Chemo #7 of 8. Well, projected 8. No telling what the Kryptonian scan will show after I'm done with the 8. Freaking thing showed me having cancer in 5 spots last time. "Yeah, you're in stage 4 Sparky." Makes me a little gun shy. What's really weird is that you're actually radioactive for 3 hours or thereabouts after the scan is done. No different cancer from the cancer treatments, please. I'm tired of it sucking to be me.
I'll be sure to take the right battery for the dvd player instead of the charge unit for the battery that I took last time. Chemo brain strikes again. Luckily I was saved from boredom by the History Channel. There was a really awesome show about all the people that can be proven to have come to either North or South America prior to 1492. Or there's speculation and some speculative evidence of other people coming here. My favorite is these cats from Europe during the end of the ice age. The theory is they left southern Europe and traveled along the ice shelf that existed along the mid Atlantic ocean. It makes perfect sense because they could hunt seals for food, fat, and skin all along their trip. It's like a boat ride at an amusement park with a couple stops for corn dogs and slushees. There was a culture that existed in North America called the Clovis Culture. So there guys probably had a big part in that. There's lot's of proof that there were people here waaaaaay back when that did not come from the Russia to Alaska land bridge from parts of Asia. Truly fascinating stuff.
I'm getting that thing where food tastes weird. That coupled with my hyper sensitive sense of smell is really a pain in the ass. Wonder how long before this stuff begins to wear off. Not soon enough. I already can't stand strong perfumes. I mean really, I get sick from those overpowering toilet waters some women and a few men wear. I've had to leave the front counter at an old job more than once when someone, usually an old lady, would come in to get their car serviced. My eyes water and my mouth gets a coating inside. Completely disgusting. Now I'm 5 times more sensitive than I was. Literally, one day last week someone walked by my house, and the perfume smell nearly had me calling the porcelain phone. I don't go out much.
Dig ya later, Bubbies
One week from Chemo #7 of 8. Well, projected 8. No telling what the Kryptonian scan will show after I'm done with the 8. Freaking thing showed me having cancer in 5 spots last time. "Yeah, you're in stage 4 Sparky." Makes me a little gun shy. What's really weird is that you're actually radioactive for 3 hours or thereabouts after the scan is done. No different cancer from the cancer treatments, please. I'm tired of it sucking to be me.
I'll be sure to take the right battery for the dvd player instead of the charge unit for the battery that I took last time. Chemo brain strikes again. Luckily I was saved from boredom by the History Channel. There was a really awesome show about all the people that can be proven to have come to either North or South America prior to 1492. Or there's speculation and some speculative evidence of other people coming here. My favorite is these cats from Europe during the end of the ice age. The theory is they left southern Europe and traveled along the ice shelf that existed along the mid Atlantic ocean. It makes perfect sense because they could hunt seals for food, fat, and skin all along their trip. It's like a boat ride at an amusement park with a couple stops for corn dogs and slushees. There was a culture that existed in North America called the Clovis Culture. So there guys probably had a big part in that. There's lot's of proof that there were people here waaaaaay back when that did not come from the Russia to Alaska land bridge from parts of Asia. Truly fascinating stuff.
I'm getting that thing where food tastes weird. That coupled with my hyper sensitive sense of smell is really a pain in the ass. Wonder how long before this stuff begins to wear off. Not soon enough. I already can't stand strong perfumes. I mean really, I get sick from those overpowering toilet waters some women and a few men wear. I've had to leave the front counter at an old job more than once when someone, usually an old lady, would come in to get their car serviced. My eyes water and my mouth gets a coating inside. Completely disgusting. Now I'm 5 times more sensitive than I was. Literally, one day last week someone walked by my house, and the perfume smell nearly had me calling the porcelain phone. I don't go out much.
Dig ya later, Bubbies
Tales From The Big Casino; Chapter 10
9/2/10
Two days after chemo #6. Felling mostly okay. To quote the late great Rodney Dangerfield, 'Last week I was in rough shape, ya know?" Turns out I got myself a nasty little sinus infection. Called the on call doc at the cancer center and he called me in some antibiotics to start taking. I figured this was going to be useless because last year I went through every level of anti-b last year right up to the uber anti, Zithromax and it did no good. So I wound up getting my sinuses drilled out and my septum fixed. But it was worth the trouble since the low level anti-b knocked out the infection quick, fast, and in a hurry. Trouble is, my temp was hovering at mid 100 for about a day. When I told the team of docs and nurses about this Tuesday I got the lecture x3. "Don't wait just come in if that ever happens again" The two docs and the nurse let me have it about that. Now I know that by the time I went to the ER my temp would be down and it would have been a wasted trip. Hey I'm still upright so I was right.
Planned on going to some Gilda's club functions last week but of course I felt like rug lint all week. That sucks. Even missed a baseball game. Been here five years and I still haven;t seen the Red Wings play. Nor have I seen the Roc City Rollergirls skate. They're struggling for a permanent venue. A working class Lake Town like Rochester needs a Rollergirl team with a huge fan base. Just makes sense to me anyway. Too bad I'm not a semi well known host instead of a cable wannabe, cuz I'd sure be waving a flag for them. If I had been given more than two weeks to find some sponsors, a half hour version of WT (Wild Thingdom) would have been on the air for a year now. I'd have done the pay your way deal given enough time to create some sponsor love. But in last summer's economic turmoil even Gordon Gecko couldn't have raised five bucks in two freaking weeks. And of course the guy wouldn't return my e mails after I bombed out on the money deal. Geez how'd I get started bitching about my abortive attempt at regular tv? Next time I'll make it. Since my co-creator is now a Forensics teacher that lends a little class to the mixture. All I need now is a pc that can burn dvd's again and I'll start mailing out shows to every station I can find. It's gonna happen, I'll be cancer free and have a show on the local TV somewhere in western, NY.
Two days after chemo #6. Felling mostly okay. To quote the late great Rodney Dangerfield, 'Last week I was in rough shape, ya know?" Turns out I got myself a nasty little sinus infection. Called the on call doc at the cancer center and he called me in some antibiotics to start taking. I figured this was going to be useless because last year I went through every level of anti-b last year right up to the uber anti, Zithromax and it did no good. So I wound up getting my sinuses drilled out and my septum fixed. But it was worth the trouble since the low level anti-b knocked out the infection quick, fast, and in a hurry. Trouble is, my temp was hovering at mid 100 for about a day. When I told the team of docs and nurses about this Tuesday I got the lecture x3. "Don't wait just come in if that ever happens again" The two docs and the nurse let me have it about that. Now I know that by the time I went to the ER my temp would be down and it would have been a wasted trip. Hey I'm still upright so I was right.
Planned on going to some Gilda's club functions last week but of course I felt like rug lint all week. That sucks. Even missed a baseball game. Been here five years and I still haven;t seen the Red Wings play. Nor have I seen the Roc City Rollergirls skate. They're struggling for a permanent venue. A working class Lake Town like Rochester needs a Rollergirl team with a huge fan base. Just makes sense to me anyway. Too bad I'm not a semi well known host instead of a cable wannabe, cuz I'd sure be waving a flag for them. If I had been given more than two weeks to find some sponsors, a half hour version of WT (Wild Thingdom) would have been on the air for a year now. I'd have done the pay your way deal given enough time to create some sponsor love. But in last summer's economic turmoil even Gordon Gecko couldn't have raised five bucks in two freaking weeks. And of course the guy wouldn't return my e mails after I bombed out on the money deal. Geez how'd I get started bitching about my abortive attempt at regular tv? Next time I'll make it. Since my co-creator is now a Forensics teacher that lends a little class to the mixture. All I need now is a pc that can burn dvd's again and I'll start mailing out shows to every station I can find. It's gonna happen, I'll be cancer free and have a show on the local TV somewhere in western, NY.
Tales From The Big Casino; Chapter 9
8/6/10
I had x rays and a consultation with Dr Chong this morning. She says that from what she sees on the x rays there's no nasty tumors or anything like that in my shoulder or elbow. More than likely it's tendonitis brought on by the chemotherapy. She called it on the nose when I was diagnosed, so I'm counting on her expertise this time. I don't need this shit to get worse.
This afternoon I got the brainscan MRI. Back into the Star Trek tube for almost an hour. With my head in an open topped football helmet. Last time I could at least move my head. Not fun kiddies. Now I'm guzzling water to flush out the contrast dye. I get to do it all over again Sunday morning for my shoulder. That contrast crap is going to burn out my kidneys. Or my bladder. Freaking fun never ends.
Then on Monday I get the Lumbar puncture. Can't drive myself because they're giving me a LaLa pill before the big ass needle goes in. They want to make sure there's no Lymphoma cells swimming around in my spinal fluid.
Feh.
I had x rays and a consultation with Dr Chong this morning. She says that from what she sees on the x rays there's no nasty tumors or anything like that in my shoulder or elbow. More than likely it's tendonitis brought on by the chemotherapy. She called it on the nose when I was diagnosed, so I'm counting on her expertise this time. I don't need this shit to get worse.
This afternoon I got the brainscan MRI. Back into the Star Trek tube for almost an hour. With my head in an open topped football helmet. Last time I could at least move my head. Not fun kiddies. Now I'm guzzling water to flush out the contrast dye. I get to do it all over again Sunday morning for my shoulder. That contrast crap is going to burn out my kidneys. Or my bladder. Freaking fun never ends.
Then on Monday I get the Lumbar puncture. Can't drive myself because they're giving me a LaLa pill before the big ass needle goes in. They want to make sure there's no Lymphoma cells swimming around in my spinal fluid.
Feh.
Tales From The Big Casino; Chapter 8
8/3/10
Well I was scheduled for chemo #5 today. But after telling the docs my left elbow is extremely painful and how I get stabbing headaches a new plan was born. MRI's on my arm and shoulder, and a cat scan of my head. Even I think that joke is old. And I'm gonna get a big needle in the spine this time.
Remember Daffy Duck? "Shoot me now shoot me now!"
Well I was scheduled for chemo #5 today. But after telling the docs my left elbow is extremely painful and how I get stabbing headaches a new plan was born. MRI's on my arm and shoulder, and a cat scan of my head. Even I think that joke is old. And I'm gonna get a big needle in the spine this time.
Remember Daffy Duck? "Shoot me now shoot me now!"
Tales From The Big Casino; Chapter 7
6/24/10
Two days after chemo #3. Not doing too bad. The first day after is way sucky and I can't sleep laying down that night. Major reflux no matter what I do. But for day #2 I'm in good shape. Other than the constant dry mouth. Might even take the weed wacker to the front lawn this afternoon. I'd mow it but the push mower is busted. Yeah I busted it last week. Stupid grab handles are plastic. Break the flimsy plastic handle and the mower don't work. Must've been a government idea.
I saw my one doctor for the last time. She graduated from the Fellows program and is now, as she put it, a grown up. She guarantees me her replacement is caught up with all her patients progress and will be a fine doctor. I am going to miss her though. She enters a room like a fairy. Kind of hard to explain, but I imagine people call her Tinkerbelle. The chief doc is pleased with how I look and my progress in general. Can't help feeling good about that.
I was pretty nervous last week. Just everything in general I suppose. Was popping the lorezapam daily. Mostly because I've been having pain in my shoulders for a year or more. And it no doubt was this lymphoma. So now I'm fighting stage 4 freaking cancer. Kinda flips me out y'know? I hate to admit that getting rear ended probably saved my life. But I still would be popping ibuprofen and sleeping with a coating of muscle rub every night.The accident prompted me to get that MRI. What a phone call that was the next day.Hearing the word Oncologist in relation to someplace you need to go is quite an experience. I still think the old crow should lose her license. She slammed on the gas in a parking lot and knocked me into an intersection. That's a danger to public safety kiddies. The trouble is she's FAR from the only roadway hazard around here.
Two days after chemo #3. Not doing too bad. The first day after is way sucky and I can't sleep laying down that night. Major reflux no matter what I do. But for day #2 I'm in good shape. Other than the constant dry mouth. Might even take the weed wacker to the front lawn this afternoon. I'd mow it but the push mower is busted. Yeah I busted it last week. Stupid grab handles are plastic. Break the flimsy plastic handle and the mower don't work. Must've been a government idea.
I saw my one doctor for the last time. She graduated from the Fellows program and is now, as she put it, a grown up. She guarantees me her replacement is caught up with all her patients progress and will be a fine doctor. I am going to miss her though. She enters a room like a fairy. Kind of hard to explain, but I imagine people call her Tinkerbelle. The chief doc is pleased with how I look and my progress in general. Can't help feeling good about that.
I was pretty nervous last week. Just everything in general I suppose. Was popping the lorezapam daily. Mostly because I've been having pain in my shoulders for a year or more. And it no doubt was this lymphoma. So now I'm fighting stage 4 freaking cancer. Kinda flips me out y'know? I hate to admit that getting rear ended probably saved my life. But I still would be popping ibuprofen and sleeping with a coating of muscle rub every night.The accident prompted me to get that MRI. What a phone call that was the next day.Hearing the word Oncologist in relation to someplace you need to go is quite an experience. I still think the old crow should lose her license. She slammed on the gas in a parking lot and knocked me into an intersection. That's a danger to public safety kiddies. The trouble is she's FAR from the only roadway hazard around here.
Tales From The Big Casino; Chapter 6
6/3/10
Okay. Wasn't so bad, other than the first night. Insomnia hasn't even been so tough. Feeling pretty worn out though. Nuttin; I can;t handle.
The Sis In Laws came over last night and gave me the buzz on my melon. Still got the stubble, but it's Curly Howard time. Do the Curly Shuffle kiddies! Guess I don't have a peanut head after all.
They both said I looked pretty good and can pull off the dome look. While lesbians tend to be fashionably wise, I think I'll stick to my tried and true look once I come out the other side of this sitch. I think I'm better off looking like Gravis Mushnick than Bruce Willis.
The Chemo treatment was over in 4 hours this time. I take to the new stuff pretty well. If I can tolerate the strong stuff I guess that's a good sign. It will be even better if the cancer doesn't tolerate it at all. Hoping it gets all Marshall Dillon on it. Or even better, goes Medieval on it's ass. Think I'll go get in a walk. Get a little sun on the skull.
L8rz
Okay. Wasn't so bad, other than the first night. Insomnia hasn't even been so tough. Feeling pretty worn out though. Nuttin; I can;t handle.
The Sis In Laws came over last night and gave me the buzz on my melon. Still got the stubble, but it's Curly Howard time. Do the Curly Shuffle kiddies! Guess I don't have a peanut head after all.
They both said I looked pretty good and can pull off the dome look. While lesbians tend to be fashionably wise, I think I'll stick to my tried and true look once I come out the other side of this sitch. I think I'm better off looking like Gravis Mushnick than Bruce Willis.
The Chemo treatment was over in 4 hours this time. I take to the new stuff pretty well. If I can tolerate the strong stuff I guess that's a good sign. It will be even better if the cancer doesn't tolerate it at all. Hoping it gets all Marshall Dillon on it. Or even better, goes Medieval on it's ass. Think I'll go get in a walk. Get a little sun on the skull.
L8rz
Tales From The Big Casino; Chapter 5
5/31/10
<insert string of foul, hideous expletives here>
My freaking hair started falling out today. FUCK! This blows. Pulled a big clump out this afternoon. Dammit anyway.
Second chemo treatment is tomorrow. Why do I get the feeling the free ride is over? Like suddenly it feels like, "Okay pal, no more lollygagging. Time to spend your days driving the porcelain bus." I fear the shit storm approacheth. With great fury and anger, and will strike down those who dare to harm that bible guy. That metaphor went nowhere. At least I can watch videos while getting the needle. Thanks Paul!
Thunderstorms are coming tonight. Hope it's a real gully washer. Noisy and house shaking.
I got nothing else. I'm pissed off, scared, don't want to go bald, and sick of the 80 degree weather.
<insert string of foul, hideous expletives here>
My freaking hair started falling out today. FUCK! This blows. Pulled a big clump out this afternoon. Dammit anyway.
Second chemo treatment is tomorrow. Why do I get the feeling the free ride is over? Like suddenly it feels like, "Okay pal, no more lollygagging. Time to spend your days driving the porcelain bus." I fear the shit storm approacheth. With great fury and anger, and will strike down those who dare to harm that bible guy. That metaphor went nowhere. At least I can watch videos while getting the needle. Thanks Paul!
Thunderstorms are coming tonight. Hope it's a real gully washer. Noisy and house shaking.
I got nothing else. I'm pissed off, scared, don't want to go bald, and sick of the 80 degree weather.
Tales From The Big Casino; Chapter 4
5/14/10
Arrrrgh. Another semi sleepless night. Finally gave up trying to sleep and came online to vent a little. As you might have seen, Dear Reader, my prognosis lost some cure rate points since it seems I'm in stage 4. Which really blows. 85% down to 70%. Still way above half, bubbies. What's weird is I don't feel super depressed. Some self preservation module kicked must have kicked in and is pumping a stream of endorphins in my dilithium chamber. Which is good since my depression can be a real cave monster. It has pulled me into that dark nasty cave on more than one occasion.
Two more days of prednisone and I'm off of that crap until June 1st and my next chemo. Glad I'm not taking it full time. Like I need another reason to look bloated. My penchant for cheeseburgers and cookies does that job just fine. The first thing they pump into me is some new type of seek and destroy mixture that pinpoints the cancer cells. Which is freaking awesome. It needs boost from the older boys that just fire randomly into the crowd though. Oh well. Aim for their legs boys, if they're good guys they can recover, if not the new sheriff can finish 'em off.
I got a pretty short haircut on Monday. In anticipation of the much dreaded hair loss. I never cared for short hair back in the early 60's when all the fellow kindergartener boys had it. Now Chris O'Donnell, on NCIS LA has the same hair as me. I still don't like it. I think I have a peanut shaped head. I've been feeling the outline of my skull, not pleased. I have a nice Kangol style/backwards driving cap. Baseball hats are not in the plan. I look like a mental patient in them. I'm a cancer patient not a mental one! Yet.
Okay 5 am is creeping up on me here. Think I'll go downstairs and do some stuff and get my Baroness her breakfast.
L8r T8rs
Arrrrgh. Another semi sleepless night. Finally gave up trying to sleep and came online to vent a little. As you might have seen, Dear Reader, my prognosis lost some cure rate points since it seems I'm in stage 4. Which really blows. 85% down to 70%. Still way above half, bubbies. What's weird is I don't feel super depressed. Some self preservation module kicked must have kicked in and is pumping a stream of endorphins in my dilithium chamber. Which is good since my depression can be a real cave monster. It has pulled me into that dark nasty cave on more than one occasion.
Two more days of prednisone and I'm off of that crap until June 1st and my next chemo. Glad I'm not taking it full time. Like I need another reason to look bloated. My penchant for cheeseburgers and cookies does that job just fine. The first thing they pump into me is some new type of seek and destroy mixture that pinpoints the cancer cells. Which is freaking awesome. It needs boost from the older boys that just fire randomly into the crowd though. Oh well. Aim for their legs boys, if they're good guys they can recover, if not the new sheriff can finish 'em off.
I got a pretty short haircut on Monday. In anticipation of the much dreaded hair loss. I never cared for short hair back in the early 60's when all the fellow kindergartener boys had it. Now Chris O'Donnell, on NCIS LA has the same hair as me. I still don't like it. I think I have a peanut shaped head. I've been feeling the outline of my skull, not pleased. I have a nice Kangol style/backwards driving cap. Baseball hats are not in the plan. I look like a mental patient in them. I'm a cancer patient not a mental one! Yet.
Okay 5 am is creeping up on me here. Think I'll go downstairs and do some stuff and get my Baroness her breakfast.
L8r T8rs
Tales From The Big Casino; Chapter 3.5
5/10/10
Well the chemo starts tomorrow. Meeting with the docs @8:30 to find out what the final treatment plan is. Then I get hooked up to the barf and bald machine @ 9:30. Yippie.
Okay. I just slapped myself across the face, hard, 3 separate times. I didn't wake up. So it's real. I just hope there isn't anything else that showed up from the CT scans on Friday. Like anything needing radiation on top of the chemo. Or worse, Like the rod implants to buck up weakened bone. I haven't had a broken bone in my entire life. Hard to wrap my brain around having weakened bones. Fark.
Well the chemo starts tomorrow. Meeting with the docs @8:30 to find out what the final treatment plan is. Then I get hooked up to the barf and bald machine @ 9:30. Yippie.
Okay. I just slapped myself across the face, hard, 3 separate times. I didn't wake up. So it's real. I just hope there isn't anything else that showed up from the CT scans on Friday. Like anything needing radiation on top of the chemo. Or worse, Like the rod implants to buck up weakened bone. I haven't had a broken bone in my entire life. Hard to wrap my brain around having weakened bones. Fark.
Tales From The Big Casino; Chapter 3
4/29/10
Okay it's official. I have "Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma". Yay me. Waiting for the Doc office to call with the appt for the next Oncologist I see. Nice Jewish Doctor who will schedule the chemo. I go back to Doctor Rae Dawn Chong on June 2nd. That's a follow up to make sure no other bones are affected. If so I'll get a Titanium rod implanted to reinforce said bone. Wonder if Adamantium claws are part of the procedure? Hey I can hope. Does the chemo always make your hair fall out? I am NOT going to look good bald. Maybe it'll just turn it a weird color or something. I think my head is kind of weird shaped. Besides I have a scar on the left side from busting my head open when I was 18. It's probably ugly as hell. If I have to be bald I'm gonna buy some of those retro 50's snap brim lids. Or tatoo my dome like Bam Bam Bigelow. But I'm still getting some cool headgear.
Angry? Yes.
Scared? Shitless.
Gotta go talk to the boss now. I need a couple days to gather myself somewhat. Plus I've been barely containing myself up to this point. Now that I know that I have cancer I don't trust myself dealing with customers and their petty complaints. What the fuck is next? Boils? Nuclear hemmoroids? A stroke where I can only blink one eye? Flesh eating bacteria? Stick it in a little farther It's only halfway up my chest.
Okay it's official. I have "Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma". Yay me. Waiting for the Doc office to call with the appt for the next Oncologist I see. Nice Jewish Doctor who will schedule the chemo. I go back to Doctor Rae Dawn Chong on June 2nd. That's a follow up to make sure no other bones are affected. If so I'll get a Titanium rod implanted to reinforce said bone. Wonder if Adamantium claws are part of the procedure? Hey I can hope. Does the chemo always make your hair fall out? I am NOT going to look good bald. Maybe it'll just turn it a weird color or something. I think my head is kind of weird shaped. Besides I have a scar on the left side from busting my head open when I was 18. It's probably ugly as hell. If I have to be bald I'm gonna buy some of those retro 50's snap brim lids. Or tatoo my dome like Bam Bam Bigelow. But I'm still getting some cool headgear.
Angry? Yes.
Scared? Shitless.
Gotta go talk to the boss now. I need a couple days to gather myself somewhat. Plus I've been barely containing myself up to this point. Now that I know that I have cancer I don't trust myself dealing with customers and their petty complaints. What the fuck is next? Boils? Nuclear hemmoroids? A stroke where I can only blink one eye? Flesh eating bacteria? Stick it in a little farther It's only halfway up my chest.
Tales From The Big Casino; Chapter 2
4/3/10
After calling out from work last night I'm getting ready to go in tonight. Needed a night to recompose myself. I really wish it was April 14th and I knew my status for sure. The Baroness and I were talking earlier and I told her the same thing. She reminded me that while we were talking with the Doctor yesterday her professional opinion was pretty sure it's cancer. The Doc went to John Hopkins and interned at Sloan Kettering. She said it in a way that was somewhat reassuring given the fact that she already had her staff calling and making arrangements for these tests to be done quickly and one the same day whenever possible. In my words, so far it looks like a duck and acts like a duck. Fuck.
After calling out from work last night I'm getting ready to go in tonight. Needed a night to recompose myself. I really wish it was April 14th and I knew my status for sure. The Baroness and I were talking earlier and I told her the same thing. She reminded me that while we were talking with the Doctor yesterday her professional opinion was pretty sure it's cancer. The Doc went to John Hopkins and interned at Sloan Kettering. She said it in a way that was somewhat reassuring given the fact that she already had her staff calling and making arrangements for these tests to be done quickly and one the same day whenever possible. In my words, so far it looks like a duck and acts like a duck. Fuck.
Tales From The Big Casino; Chapter 1
4/2/10
Been kind of a weird week for me. On Monday I finally got an MRI done on my left shoulder which has been bothering me since I got rear ended last December. On Tuesday afternoon someone called me from the Ortho's office. A Nurse Practicioner to be exact. She told me that there's something in my shoulder that might be an agressive infection or something (insert dramatic overture) malignant. Yep I may likely have cancer. As usual, it sucks to be me. An appointment was made for today. I met with an Orthopedic Oncologist who looks like Rae Dawn Chong. She's very efficent, professional, to the point, and has incredible deep brown eyes. The Baroness and I feel at ease and in good hands after our meeting today. Well, as at ease one can feel facing something like this. Over the next week and a half I'll be getting all the tests done that go with such things. The morning of April 14th We'll meet with the Doc for the results and diagnosis. If it's not an infection it's either lymphoma or sarcoma. Lymphoma calls for a combo of chemo and radiation. While our friend sarcoma call for cutting out the affected bone. Heh and I though the last two presidential elections were lousy choices. This afternoon I decided to do this and update when there is new info. This way I have an outlet for my feelings, plus it will show me if it's worthwhile to attempt to finish the two novels I have been monkeying around with for the last seven years. Randy Pausch I aint. But this top of the head narration is worth doing just for my own peace of mind.
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